Vulnerability is not about fear and grief and disappointment. It is the birthplace of everything we’re hungry for.
Stepping out of my comfort zone to befriend another woman can be so nerve wracking sometimes. I suddenly feel insecure and question whether said person even wants to get to know me better. My mind fills with doubt…they’re so much younger/older than me…they’re so much more successful that me…they have no children and I have 5, what in the world would we have in common…they “outrank” me on every level: education, career successes, life….etc. Reruns of every previous interaction with this person plays on repeat in my mind while I try to sort through the pieces. Eventually I remember that I have yet to regret reaching out to every woman I have. Eventually I remember every solid, wonderful friendship that has developed from putting myself out there and taking a chance on rejection. Eventually I see the flourishing friendships that continue to lift me up and teach me more than I ever knew I needed to learn.
Soon I hush the negative voices in my head…send that Facebook message, text, or verbal invitation to get together with me.
I can not adequately verbalize the importance of the women friendships in my life. These women guide me spiritually, professionally, emotionally. They deliver freezer meals to my home for a night that I may need a break from cooking. They visit my children in the hospital when they’re sick. They send me heart-shaped brownies in the mail. They bake me a birthday cake. They watch my children when I have a last minute appointment. They are there at every milestone in my life, and my kiddos. They diet with me, and encourage me every step of my journey. They share their talents and God-given gifts with me and ask me to share mine with them. They drop off gifts for me and my kids, that just “reminded them of me”. They check-in with me when it’s been awhile. They send me cards, funny memes, sweet quotes, and bible verses. They take the time to listen or talk me through the difficult times, funny times and sweet times. They offer to pray with me. They love me. I visualize these women hand in hand, surrounding me with so much love and support that I am nearly blinded by the light. These women are a warm smile, a comforting voice and a safe place to be who God intended me to be.
I have intentionally guarded my marriage by investing in female, and not male, friendships. I have improved my marriage by leaning on my friends, as well as my husband. His shoulders shouldn’t have to bare the weight of being my only emotional support…he already bares the weight of being my lover, provider and co-parent.
To every woman out there reading this today, you have more than likely brought something special to my life, a lesson or a blessing. To every woman reading this today, take that leap, hush the voices, be vulnerable and open to trusting another woman. Keep your expectations low, but your standards high. Reach out to women that you feel with lift you up. Invest in women that sincerely want the best for you and your family. It can bless your life in so many ways.